Form, Form, Form

The reason I am so often ineffective at putting forward alternative ideas to people is I don’t focus enough on the form of the argument. I should start by telling people the principles I operate from and the problems I am trying to solve. Only after I am certain they understand the problem as I see it and the fundamental principles with which I start should I proceed to make the case for my position.

For instance I was recently in Colorado on a retreat, I ended up in a debate with a friend about the merits (or lack thereof) of schooling. I got flustered and ended up firing a series of facts at her about the violent resistance to the nationalization of schools during the 19th century. Oops.

What I should have done what stopped the conversation as soon as she began to be defensive. She was cutting me off with objections before I could hardly complete my sentences. It would have been much more effective for me to be explicit.

By firing a series of facts at her which she doubtless had never heard before I was intending to point out the degree to which she is uninformed about this topic. However, because I did it implicitly rather than explicitly, I probably only projected my frustration, irritation, and anger onto her.

It would have been far better for me to stop the conversation and say, “Do you think that I have thought about this very much? I am clearly putting forward a position that is neither common nor popular. Why would I do that if I was not convinced it was true? Do you want to hear why I think it’s true?”

If she agrees that I might have thought about it and that it would be silly for me to spend time and social capital having unpopular beliefs without good reason for them, then it would be perfectly reasonable for her to let me make my case before raising her objections. Maybe I have heard some of her objections before, and maybe I will respond to them before she even bring them up.

If she asks me the same questions I asked her (which would probably never happen, but hey…), I would reply that I do not think she has thought about this very much or done any research, and that she is merely repeating the common opinion which she has heard from everyone else. My intent is to educate her and other people about an alternative possibility which I expect they have neither considered nor even heard much of before.

Attempting to educate people is not condescending, since I am anticipating that they have the capacity to understand my arguments if only they will take the time to think about them. True condescension would be to never talk to them at all about the research I’ve done and to assume that they would not understand it anyway. If someone accuses me of being condescending by trying to educate them, I can be certain that they themselves are being condescending in that moment by assuming that my intelligence combined with the work I’ve done to discover the truth has not achieved anything at all.

Advertisement